No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
this is an emotional support booty call
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
