Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
