Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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