If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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