Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Holy sore nipples Batman
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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