This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
