Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
