If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize