My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
