Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
