I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
