No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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