The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
