So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
