We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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