I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
