This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
