He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
