Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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