i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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