Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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