where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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