? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
