Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
