Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
