you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
