I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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