Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
