Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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