How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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