He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
