Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
