I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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