just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
