Pappa wants mamma naked
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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