how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
