I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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