YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
