I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
