farters have to be the big spoon...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
