so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My balls are so social today.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
