I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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