that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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