maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
