i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Fuck appropriateness.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
