Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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