so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
