I just saw a hot homeless man
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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