I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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