Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
