I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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