ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
