no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
